complexly me

To begin with, I would like to say that this is not a Cinderella story of someone’s life (if you ever got that from the heading). This is a plan. Yep.. It’s a plan of robbing a bank. There are tonnes of movies on bank heists. Some of them famous, some glamorous, some brilliant while some are plain stupid. But most of these movies have a few things in common: Weapons, loads of money before they hit the bank(!!!!), employees of the bank employed by them in turn and the list of clichés just goes on and on. However, there are exceptions. But then again, that’s Hollywood  or England-wood (or whatever they call it!!). That’s unreal. And that’s the point.

So how do normal people like us rob a bank??? Though, if you thought of ever robbing a bank you can count yourself out of the “normal people” list!! What if tomorrow, God forbid, someone walks upto you with a shotgun to your head and asks you to rob a bank??!! I mean you’ve got to be prepared right?    So what do you do?? Now say it’s a really bad day and you’re bankrupt. You owe your friends money so they won’t lend you any!! The dude with the gun isn’t gonna lend you any weapons out of the obvious fear that you might just blow his head off!! So you’re in this bad bad pickle, and entre your saviours. 3 of your friends agree to help you out but are bankrupt just like you and they’ve got empty pots for heads!! The Dude With The Gun(TDWTG) , seeing your pathetic situation decides to give you half of what you steal. As long as you steal more than $200,000.

“Its not about the money,, kid.. Its personal “he tells you…

Now this is you situation:

->you need to rob a bank and you get to keep half the money.

->you’ve got 3 friends as accomplices who are brain dead let’s say!!

->NO MONEY, no guns, no inside man and blackmail is pointless without weaponry.

->You have one week to hit the bank. Do it anytime within that week or TDWTG will make you and Kurt Cobain look like twins (for those who don’t get it…. Kurt Cobain blew his head off with a shotgun from point blank!!)

DAY 0:

You go home and pick up some stuff that you think might help you. That stuff includes:

a laptop, a handy cam, stationery items, an Armani suit you’ll never sell,

Day 1:

You got to the bank and open an account. Meanwhile one of your accomplices collect:

Withdrawal slips, deposit slips, even pamphlets, brochures, visiting cards of employees..

The bank has cameras all over the place so you do everything very subtly. So then you think to yourself (trying to help you guys!!!)…      “They have cameras everywhere…. Hmmmmm…. That means we cannot bolt with the money… We got no weapons so there’s no point of wearing funny costumes or monkey caps… The only option is to walk in and walk out with the cash…. I’m so SMART!!!….. But how do I do it?!?!?? “

Day 2:

You start reading E-books about bank heists. They cover all kinds of situations, except of course yours!! You turn to movies as your last resort. You watch The Dark Knight, get hooked and watch it over and over until you perfect the Heath Ledger impersonation (R.I.P. Heath). Meanwhile your minions take photographs and videos of the bank. Now you have a blueprint of the bank ready. Not a professional one like the movies obviously. But you can make-do.

Day 3:

“No one’s e ever done it before…. not without the guns at least” you tell your crime pals..

“So if we can pull this off,,, we’re gonna be legends”  says Tom

“And if we cant, we either spend the rest of our lives doing time or we we’re gonna be delicacies of TDWTGs dogs” says Dick

You open the newspaper and then, out of nowhere, a stroke of brilliance strikes you… You just got a plan…

“Why cant we sell your suit??? You don even wear it…” claims Harry

“Shut up harry… Dont talk nonsense.. Anyways we wont need to!!!! I got a plan”

Day 4:

You get your laptop out and start writing a rough idea about how your master-plan is to be carried out… Tom Dick and Harry are assigned their respective roles… But, a master-plan is simply a plan without practice… So you and your friends head out to your basement where you can execute your mock heist… Your life now depends on the precision and perfection of this strategy…For the first time since TDWTG shoved a gun in your face,,, you are dead serious…

Day 5:

Satisfied with the practice that you did the previous day,,, you set out to speak to TDWTG… He seems pretty amazed that how a person like you could acually think of a plan like that… He even offers you a position in his crew but you sweetly refuse it… So this is your status on day 5….

No weapons, no cash, no inside man, a master plan in hand ready to be executed…

The events of Day 6 and Day 7 are to be completed by YOU and posted as comments… The climax of this master piece is yours… You choose the strategy and its execution… It maybe different from the one that i had in mind but can be better nonetheless… Amazing ending ain’t it???

My dear subjects,,,,

Thanks for playing..

Dhruv